Today's Sabbath

I did absolutely nothing today. Well... pretty much absolutely nothing anyway. I did get up, showered and dressed. :) I did wander out to the kitchen and make myself a cup of hot chai. I did feed the dog (eventually). But the dishes didn't get done until after the kids got home from school. I didn't do any laundry or cook or clean. I didn't edit photos or do church work. It all needed to be done. But I did... nothing.

I admired the view out my window (even as a squirrel was making off with the remains of a tomato from my ravaged tomato plant). I finished reading a book (for fun). I picked up my guitar and worshiped through song for a little while. I spent some time in Bible study... and some time on facebook... and some time browsing the internet for hairstyles and swimsuits (ugh -- maybe that DOES qualify as work! ;)) Really, though... just totally non-work. Nothing.

I didn't set out to do "nothing" today. But somehow it just sort of happened. Part of me feels extremely guilty. Carl will come home to a messy house -- and he's been working hard 7 days a week. And I'll have to work twice as hard tomorrow (we've got guests coming the day after!). But... part of me feels... rested. A little less frazzled. A little more "centered." And late this afternoon I remembered something I'd read earlier in the week... and it all started to make sense.

In two different books I've been reading recently, I've run into chapters about the Sabbath (a day of rest)... and how important it really is in our lives. It struck me as a little more than coincidental Monday morning when I realized I was reading about the "day of rest." My Facebook status the day before had listed just how nuts my Sunday was... and questioned, "This is the 'Sabbath?!'" Hmmm....

So... as I was reading on Monday, I was (and still am) full of questions. It made sense that we need that day of rest... that resting could even make us more productive (I do feel like I could accomplish more now, after a few hours of nothing!). But when do you do this? Sunday, for me, is filled with serving at the church, community group, and -- quite honestly -- feels nothing like rest for the most part. Don't get me wrong -- I love it. But I fall into bed tired, not rested. Saturdays... are usually filled with soccer games, or basketball games, or birthday parties, or.... Again, I enjoy watching my kids in their various activities... but at the end of the day (or even before the end of the day) I'm exhausted... not rested....

So... I've been wondering... just how DO we pull off a REAL day of rest? I think I had kind of a mini-sabbath today (I did eventually go to the grocery and load the dishwasher and will attend my daughter's band banquet tonight). It wasn't planned, though. And... like I said... part of me feels guilty. But I also feel... rested... centered... less frazzled... and more ready to take on the world. I needed those few hours of nothing. It's altogether too rare for me, even as a stay-at-home, self-employed mom.

So how do any of us manage a real Sabbath in today's society? Especially on a weekly basis?

Thoughts? Please share them in the comments section!

-jenn

When is Faith not Enough?

I read something a couple of days ago that really challenged me:

And without faith it is impossible to please God,
because anyone who comes to him must believe that he exists
and that he rewards those who earnestly seek him. (Hebrews 11:6)

Now... I've read that a thousand times before... okay, so I'm a little prone to exaggeration. :) The point is, the verse wasn't really anything new to me. But then I read the Expositor's Commentary on it:

Notice that the author lays it down with the greatest of emphasis that faith is absolutely necessary. He does not say simply that without faith it is difficult to please God; he says that without faith it is impossible to please him! There is no substitute for faith. He goes on to lay down two things required in the worshiper.... First, he must believe that God exists. This is basic. Without it there is no possibility of faith at all.

But it is not enough of itself.  After all, the demons can know that sort of faith (James 2:19). There must also be a conviction about God's moral character, belief "that he rewards those who earnestly seek him." ...We must believe, not only that God exists, but also that God cares. Without that deep conviction, faith in the biblical sense is not a possibility. (emphasis is mine)

Wow. I guess I never really thought about the 2nd part of that verse... to realize... faith that God exists is not enough. I mean... I knew there was more to it than that... but to have this last part thrown in my face... that we must believe that "he rewards those who earnestly seek him..." to believe "not only that God exists, but that God cares..." really gave me something to think about.

If you asked me if I believed God cares and rewards those who earnestly seek Him, I'd probably say "Sure I do!" But... does my life really reflect that? What about the times I "hope" He answers a prayer the way I want it answered... and maybe fear just a little that He won't? Does that not reflect a deeply hidden belief that I must know better than God... or... since I say I believe He is all-knowing... that I don't really believe He wants what's best for me? If I believed He cared, wouldn't I have a bit more trust at times? Would I be as likely to go my own way those times that His answer isn't what I wanted to hear? (I'm not the only one that occasionally does that, am I?)

Don't those kinds of reactions show just a little bit of a lack of faith??? Don't they show just a little bit of disbelief that He cares??? Don't they hint that while I believe He exists, maybe I don't entirely believe my welfare is at the center of His heart? To be honest, I struggle with that at times. Some events several years ago make it easy for me to believe that sometimes the good of the many outweighs the good of the few. In my head, I know that's a fallacy... but in my heart? I'm not so sure my life always reflects that I really believe what God wants for me is the best for me. Otherwise... why would I kick and scream and drag my feet at times?

And without that kind of faith... 

"Without that deep conviction...


....faith in the biblical sense is not a possibility."


Without faith... it is impossible to please God.

Wow. Eye-opener. That one's worth some thought!


-jenn

Singing for Daddy

Did you ever stop and think...
...about how much God must love to hear us sing ?

Think about it... we were we were created to have a relationship with Him. If you are looking for a relationship, you're usually looking for someone that has similar interests, right? So I'd assume, if He was looking for relationship with us, that He just might want us to have similar interests.... :)

We are also told we were created in His image... and we know God is the one who created us with an appreciation for music. So think how much He must enjoy it. If we, in our imperfect image, can appreciate it, then surely He -- as the perfect original -- must love it!

But this is what really made me think: Consider how much joy a parent gets from his child's singing... no matter how off-key or wavering the voice may be. Especially when the child sings something that the parent's heart can appreciate. I have to admit, that as much as I enjoy hearing my kids now, as their voices and skills are maturing... I think I loved it even more when they were little. I can remember hearing their little voices singing out "So Good to Me" -- without the CD even -- and it just touched my heart :-). There were times my eyes would literally well up with tears. The innocent adoration got me every time. I loved it!

Anyway... I'm rambling... but the point is: the God who created us to love music must love music Himself. And we, as His children singing to Him, must surely touch His heart in a very special way!

So as you're preparing for your worship service this weekend... or even as you're driving down the road singing to your favorite CD (or your kid's favorite CD)... Smile! ---- Share the Joy! ----- Prepare to touch Daddy's heart.... and feel the warmth of His smile! :-)

-jenn
P.S. I have to admit... In the picture above... Dani really wasn't singing "Hallelujah" like I'd like to imagine... she and a friend were just trying to see who could scream the loudest! LOL! :)

Shards

I was in my closet when I felt a sharp pain in the bottom of my toe. I glanced down, but there was nothing there. I moved on and everything seemed fine. A few minutes later, there it was again -- a sudden, sharp stab of pain. This time I lifted my foot and ran my finger over the offending area. Owww! My finger brushed something, but the sudden return of pain made me pull my hand back before I isolated it. I glanced down again, but still couldn't see anything. I told Carl I must have something like a small splinter in my toe and I headed into a better lit room. I sat down on the floor under the light and looked closely. I STILL couldn't see anything. I called Carl. He couldn't see anything, either. We used a high-power flashlight, moving my toe every direction. Still nothing. He put his finger over it... OWWW! Yes, he felt it, but he couldn't see it. For just a second, with his finger resting lightly on it, I thought I saw a flash of something.... but then it was gone. No, not gone -- it was still there, causing pain when touched (and only when touched)... but there was no visible sign of anything there. Hmmm....

How do you remove something you can't even see?

Carl then went out to get a lit, magnifying visor (imagine a jeweler). We kept the flashlight trained on the spot... and twisted my toe every direction to get just a glimpse of a glare off of what we were now assuming was a tiny sliver of glass. Finally... Finally he saw it and he reached for the tweezers. I have to admit I questioned him. How on earth would tweezers work on something that he could hardly see (and I couldn't see at all!). He said nothing, simply moved into position... slowly squeezed the tweezers shut... and pulled. I felt something... then, very cautiously running my finger over the area, I discovered whatever HAD been there... was gone - no more pain. :) With the visor still on, Carl held the tweezers over the palm of his hand and looked at them. I couldn't believe it, but we STILL couldn't see the offending sliver. It was so tiny we couldn't even see it when removed. But for something so incredibly tiny, it sure made its presence known!

So... the million-dollar question? Where did it come from? Okay, so now I have to admit that last week was not a good week in my kitchen... Wednesday I broke a Corelle bowl. It takes a lot to break one of those, but dropping it on tile does produce quite an impressive shatter. It was Thursday when I dropped a glass cake dome. That, too, shattered quite nicely when it hit the tile... with quite a nice spread pattern. We started the cleanup with the broom and dustpan. Then Carl pulled out the shop vac and went over the kitchen several times with it. We thought we had the mess cleaned up. But somehow, somewhere... one teeny, tiny shard of glass... so tiny we couldn't see it... escaped. And much later... when it worked its way into just the right spot... it hurt!

So.. I have to tell you -- my closet is a long way from the kitchen. From the kitchen you go through the living room, a short hallway of sorts, through my bedroom, all the way across my bathroom and finally into the closet. I have no idea how that tiny irritant ended up in my closet. It was far removed from the original scene. If we hadn't caught, for just a moment, the gleam of the glass shard, we would have never known what was causing the pain. Without the physical evidence I would have never connected my kitchen experience with my later closet experience. So now I wonder....

How often do we work to clean up the messes of our lives... so sure we've got it all under control again... only to much, much later... in a much different place, even... suddenly feel a stab of pain that we have no idea where it came from?

I'll admit that every once in awhile something causes a reaction in me that seems unmatched to the actual circumstances. Sometimes, I'll turn just the right way and something penetrates... a sight, maybe even a scent, a word or thought, sometimes I won't even know what caused it... but something gets a reaction. Could it be a shard from a mess I thought we had cleaned up? And how do you fix something you can't even see? Hmmm...

Thoughts? Leave a comment and share them! :)

-jenn

Perspective

Our family took a trip around the western US last summer and one of our stops was at the Grand Tetons. I hadn't been there since I was on a family vacation with my parents and sister as a kid. The Tetons made an impression on me then. They did again last summer.

I love the Rockies… but there’s just something about the rugged beauty of the Tetons that makes them my favorite mountain range to view. They continued to take my breath away all day. Around every bend, every new perspective, it seemed my heart would just stop. I spent the entire day in awe and wonder at creation... and the Creator.

Many of the sights we saw last summer only served to confirm my belief that God didn’t just create us and leave the scene... and He doesn’t just sit from on high somewhere. Think about it-- the beauty and majesty of these mountains would be completely lost from the heavens… yet look at what He created…. He had to have seen it from our perspective or why bother…???

Actually... I believe that He sees it through our eyes each and every day....

-jenn

P.S. The blog of our 2008 vacation can be found here.

Abandoned -- Not

It was Good Friday... The message in our evening service was based on the seven statements of Jesus during his crucifixion. One struck my heart like never before...

Then at three o’clock Jesus called out with a loud voice, “Eloi, Eloi, lema sabachthani?” which means “My God, my God, why have you abandoned me?” (Mark 15:34)

Abandoned. In everything he'd faced, he'd felt his Father's presence there with him. It was the most intimate relationship he had. An ongoing conversation and source of love, support, strength, even approval ("This is my Son, whom I love; with him I am well pleased."). Now it was gone. All of it. He was... for the first time in all eternity... alone... Abandoned. The physical pain he accepted. He commented he was thirsty, but we have no record of complaint regarding his pain. This emotional pain, however, was intense enough it provoked a response: a heart-wrenching cry of "why?" Christ, in that moment, experienced something he had never felt before: Separation from his Father.

And... in that moment... Christ experienced something I have never felt. Something I will never have to. Abandoned -- not. Even in those times when I may feel far from the God who loves me... even in those times I may feel alone... abandoned... I will never, ever, truly feel that deep black hole of total abandonment. I will never know what that truly feels like. Because of Jesus, God doesn't have to turn away from me. Because of Jesus, He can fix his gaze on me and never look away. Even before I chose Him, He was there, waiting. Even when I turn away from Him, He has his gaze fixed on me. He's there. Every second of every day. I can choose not to listen, I can choose not to look, but I will never experience abandonment. Never. Jesus did. It was the one thing which made him cry out. And if Christ, knowing what was coming, still cried out at the separation... how could I have ever faced it?

Eloi, Eloi, thank Eloi, I will never be abandoned....

-jenn

Something to Say

I bought this CD by Matthew West after I heard "The Motions" on the radio. "The Motions" challenged me... pushed me... I wanted the passion back... to not just be going through the motions of Christianity. But the title track, "Something to Say," has also been working on me....

You got something to say
If you’re livin’, if you’re breathin’
You got something to say
And you know if your heart is beatin’
You got something to say
And no one can say it like you do
God is love and love speaks through you
You got it, you got it
You got something to say

As the song started tugging on me, I wrote on my Facebook status:

Jenn is wondering... if she's got something to say... why doesn't she have the faintest clue what it is?

And the more time I've spent at His feet... the more that song keeps coming back at me... I hear it when it's not playing... I feel it resonating inside me... Sitting in a Dave Ramsey lesson which concentrated on finding your strengths and what God made you for... I thought I heard... uh huh... "something to say...?"

Yes, I think I'm feeling God's hand... but I'm not at all sure what it all means yet. What DO I have to say? I don't know. I know I feel totally unqualified to say much of anything. I don't have the imagination or creativity for a novel. I don't have the education or maturity for non-fiction. So... here I am blogging... trying to find... My Something to Say.

Listen up, I got a question here
Would anybody miss you if you disappeared?
Well your life is the song that you sing
And the whole wide world is listening
Well the answer to the question is
You were created, your life is a gift and
The lights are shining on you today, ‘cause
You got something to say

-jenn