Wednesday, January 6, 2010

Spiritual Hypoglycemia

I come from a fairly strong family history of diabetes. It's probably not surprising then, that my sister was diagnosed with borderline hypoglycemia as a kid. That basically means that if you wait too long between meals your blood sugar goes too low. I had some of the same symptoms as a kid, and it still surfaces sometimes. The funny thing about hypoglycemia is that sometimes the very thing you need is the very thing you have absolutely no interest in. But I'm getting ahead of myself -- that comes a little later.

One of first signs of low blood sugar is probably an increased irritability. I, personally, don't notice this at first. ;) My family probably does, though! ;) Then a kind of shakiness can set in. I don't know that anyone could see it, but I feel it -- I'm weak and shaky (and by this point I'm usually aware I'm cranky). I know I need to eat. But sometimes I push it anyway -- maybe I'm in the middle of something; maybe no food is readily available; maybe I just don't think I can take the time at that precise moment. Really, I'm just too stubborn to take care of it right then -- I think I can handle it and push on through. So then I start feeling worse. Maybe a bit of a headache.... An inability to think straight and make decisions.... And a general "I don't wanna do anything" -- including eating. My body doesn't feel right. My stomach doesn't feel right. Nothing sounds good. And I just don't have the energy for it. Brilliant spot I've gotten myself into, right? It's at this point my husband will usually look at me (trying to keep from rolling his eyes, I'm sure) and say "You need to eat!" Then, basically, he makes me eat. LOL. It's crazy, but the one thing I need is the thing I'm the least interested in. I need intervention from my husband to do something as simple as remember to feed myself!

So why am I blogging about this? Because sitting in our worship service on Sunday, something our pastor said hit me. I can't even remember what it was that he said, but I remember the flash of light that went off in my head. I hate to admit it... but I think sometimes I suffer a little from Spiritual Hypoglycemia. I get busy, focused on other things, and I put off a meal... and before I know it... I'm probably a little more irritable than usual, but I'm busy and don't realize it.... Instead, I get a little more sidetracked (just leave me alone and let me get it done!). I pass the cranky stage and head into the shaky stage. Here, I'm a little off-balance, but stubbornness kicks in and I try to just keep going. Suddenly, before I know what has happened I am into the full-blown "I really don't wanna do anything -- even eat" stage. The very thing I really need the most, I have absolutely no interest in. Brilliant spot I've gotten myself into, right? I'm finally recognizing it for what it is, though -- Spiritual Hypoglycemia. I just need to eat!

So now the question.... are we in part responsible, then, for providing some intervention in the lives of those who seem to be a little hypoglycemic (spiritually, I mean?). Physically, my husband knows he needs to step in at times and make sure I have food in front of me. But spiritually... shouldn't we be mature enough to know we need to eat? I can't depend on someone to make me partake -- my spiritual health is my own responsibility, isn't it? Or is it? Because there is that community piece... watching out for and caring for a brother... and yet... we're each ultimately responsible for our own growth, aren't we? Hmmmm.... Thoughts?