Thursday, October 1, 2015

31 Days of...

I saw it on my Facebook feed this morning. Someone shared a link: "31 Days – A Writing Challenge Every October, Every Day." The goal is to consistently write something every day for the entire month of October. It was intriguing. And yet it was scary.

I have to admit that consistency has been a problem for me. So far this year, I've managed to hit "publish" on eight blog posts. Not even an average of one per month. And this has been a good year. I started blogging in April of 2009 and had eleven posts that year. In 2010 I had three. Both 2011 and 2012 held a hefty two posts each. In 2013, I jumped up to ten and 2014 was six. Yeah... consistency hasn't exactly been my forte. So having something to challenge me and give me a jumpstart might be good, right? But then I went to the website to look at the details. Thirty-one days of writing every day... but no prompts. I have to figure out something to say for 31 days on my own?! And... worse than that... you are supposed to pick a topic – a single topic – to write about for each of those 31 days?! Ummm... yeah. I don't think I can write about anything for 31 days straight. I couldn't think of a single topic I wanted to commit to.

And then I saw it. The fear. Identified by my psychologist over two years ago... I'm afraid I don't have anything worth saying. Actually... to be more precise... I'm afraid I don't have anything anyone will find worth listening to. As I considered that... and considered writing what I am putting to paper now... the irony hit me. It's October. The stores have been showcasing their halloween decorations for well over a month already. Halloween isn't something my family celebrates. You'll notice I didn't even capitalize it in the first sentence – I won't give it that importance. I'll follow grammar rules if it's the beginning of a sentence, but that's it. A holiday that celebrates fear (as well as darker things) just doesn't seem to line up with who I want to be... with who God calls me to be. After all, how many times do we see "fear not" in the Bible?

Sorry... little rabbit trail there... So, where was I? Oh yeah. Part of me really wanted to participate in the 31 days of writing (or at least figured it'd be good for me), but I just couldn't figure out how to do it. What could I write about? And suddenly I was staring my problem in the face: a very real fear of not having anything to say... of not having anything worth listening to. Fear. October. Halloween. Smack My Head.

Welcome to my...

31 Days of... Fear (and Truth):


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